Parenting Styles: Authoritarian vs Egalitarian

Raising Children with Anxiety versus Trust 

A libertarian egalitarian is surely 

a utilitarian humanitarian and quite possibly 

a fun-loving person—

maybe even a librarian with plenty of free books

A strict disciplinarian may be 

an unyielding totalitarian, a rigid authoritarian

and perhaps a bit dogmatic—

maybe even giving unsolicited harsh looks

This is going to taste so yummy!

Now Let’s Peak Into An Authoritarian Household:

Dad (while watching TV): Son … SON! Come here when I call for you!

Son (Roy): Yes, dad?

Dad: Did you finish all your homework?

Son: I couldn’t because …

Dad: What? No excuses. I guess you’ll have to skip dinner and do it.

Son: But dad, I have a good excuse.

Dad: I’ll give you the back of my hand as an excuse. Now, I’m missing the news so get out of here.

Mom: Honey, why don’t we have TV dinners since Roy won’t be joining us.

Roy: Mom, can I tell you why my homework isn’t done.

Dad: Son, don’t make me get up!

Mom: Not now, Roy. I’ve got to call Betty about my card game tomorrow. I do wish you’d behave yourself and listen to us better.

The Same Scenario In An Egalitarian Household:

Son (Roy): Excuse me dad. I’ve got something to tell you.

Dad (putting his newspaper down): Yes, Roy. What is it?

Roy: Well, I couldn’t do my homework today.

Dad: Okay, why not?

Roy: I was playing with Kevin in the playground and he cut his hand on a nail. So, I went home with him and rode into the doctor with his mom to get it cleaned out and wrapped up.

Dad: Oh, that was nice of you to stay with your friend.

Mom: How is Kevin doing now, Roy? Did he have stitches?

Roy: No. He’s doing okay, but he may miss school tomorrow.

Mom: Maybe you can call him after dinner.

Roy: That’s a good idea, mom. And then I’ll stay up a little late and get my homework done.

Dad: Sure, Roy. Whatever you think is best.

      

What Is Your ACE Score?

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study

My ACE score is two. The ACE questionaire is a simple list of ten questions, but it's ramifications are deep and wide (yes, just like the Jordan river).

One with the world!

Robbyn Peters Bennett, founder of StopSpanking.org (see Tedx Talk), has worked heart and soul on stopping the generational cycle of corporal punishment. I, Papa Green Bean will para-phrase much of her information throughout the rest of this post.

Five Good Reasons To Spank Your Child*

Five Good Reasons To Spank Your Child*

1.   Love -  You have to love your child enough to be tough and do what is necessary to get the desired result. Parent first, friend second.   

Thank you, mama... I trust you, now

2.  You want to be respected - 
To be feared (in the sense of reverence) is to be respected. Your children should be afraid of going against your rules. It also teaches them to submit to authority regardless of whether or not they agree.

What Message Do You Model?

Role Model = Parent

What message are you sending to your children by your words and actions? 

Are you a cynic, a grouch, a couch potato, a glass half empty person?

 Every thing you do impacts your children, positive or negative. We have an amazingly powerful influence on our children's future. 

It starts at birth. 

This is too much fun, pops!

Here is a 60 second clip entitled, "Children See, Children Do". It's very powerful. 

Spanking - Discipline or Abuse?

Violence - A Family Tradition

Respect is gone...

"If we can stay connected with people who think spanking is OK, we have a good chance of sharing our experience and offering them alternatives.  People advocate it, because they just don't know any better. When you take spanking away, you have to offer them some alternative based upon relationship and connectedness.  It is a huge shift to let go of the power of control and to rely on relationship and empathy.  It is a much more vulnerable approach."