Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Spanking - Discipline or Abuse?

Violence - A Family Tradition

Respect is gone...
"If we can stay connected with people who think spanking is OK, we have a good chance of sharing our experience and offering them alternatives.  People advocate it, because they just don't know any better. When you take spanking away, you have to offer them some alternative based upon relationship and connectedness.  It is a huge shift to let go of the power of control and to rely on relationship and empathy.  It is a much more vulnerable approach."

Robbyn Peters Bennett,  founder of StopSpanking.org (see Tedx Talk)

I was a part of this online 'exchange' after an old acquaintance posted this quote from a social media page:

"My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition know as respect for others"

  • Wow! American tradition
    Man #1 - And the worst part is - no known cure

    Man #2 - Now U spank... your kids sue for child abuse

    Man #1Not if you spank 'em hard enough...

    Man #2 - LOL

    Man #3 - How very true

    Me (Papa Green Bean) Sorry, but I whole heartily disagree with this. Break the horrific cycle and try using humor, hugs, and honor. Respect starts at birth, my friends

    Man #2What ever works for you.but a good smack on the ass never hurt nobody

    Man #1My father was a psychiatrist of significant accomplishment, but NEVER shyed away of  using a belt when my brothers or I "overstepped" the boundaries he and my mom had set up. Never in public, we'd be taken to his library to be spanked. And looking back, it wasn't hard spanking - simply enough to "get the message." 
    Children are basic and do not undestand logic and reasoning - walking a child through why they shouldn't have been disrespectful to someone is a waste of time and, I believe, done more for the paren't sake than the child. However, children DO understand pain, and ARE capable of equating pain to such a negative behavior. 
    And, I'm quite proud to say that I spanked my kids (when they were quite young) and never had to do it past their ages 8 or so - a simple glance made them remember that what FOLLOWED that glance was a spank, and they'd stop. BUT - just my position on this

    Man #2Well said 

    I probably should have continued to state my case, but at the time I was so disturbed by their attitude & perspective, I felt they were not to be swayed. How sad to be a part of this conversation.
It really is abuse, isn't it?

Okay, now here is the Tedx Talk  by Robbyn Peters Bennett, LMHC, CMHS. She is a psychotherapist, educator, and child advocate who specializes in the treatment of trauma-related mental health problems resulting from the effects of early childhood stress, abuse and neglect. She is the founder of StopSpanking.org, a non-profit dedicated to educating the public on the dangers of spanking. She is on the steering committee of The U.S. Alliance to End the Hitting of Children. Robbyn is currently producing a documentary, The Last Resort, about the cultural practice of spanking children.

Finally, Dr. Martin Teicher of Harvard Medical School talks about the serious consequences of spanking and how there are no 'cut-offs' at any level of physical abuse directed on children.  

Please, let's stop this cycle.

Papa Green Bean Conclusion

How serious is spanking? It is corporal punishment. It should be a top priority of our generation to put an end to this despicable behavior. Children are our precious future. If we want to end war and violence of all types, the best place to start is with every newborn. And, like other generational deficiencies, spanking needs to become a part of our dark past. Unfortunately, as many good things, it will unquestionably take time and much more concerted effort. Thank you Robbyn Peters Bennett for your important work, message and commitment. 

Hugs do not hurt, XOXO,  Papa Green Bean